I had been married four years and no sign of a Baby yet, I was so desperate for a baby I would go into baby shops to look at the clothes and find myself standing there weeping, the staff and shoppers must have thought me mad.

Every month would come and go and no sign of me being pregnant, I no doubt was getting on my Husband’s nerves with all of this, that one day David shocked me by saying “we really do not have to have a baby we can have a good life, go around the World see what we want to”, I could not believe what he was saying in between tears I said “don’t you want a baby”, to which much to my shock I heard “not really”.  looking back I never pretended anything else other than wanting babies, I loved children and wanted at least 4 if not 8, thought 8 would not happen as my husband was 30 years older than me.  They do say a man can go on having sex way past 70 plus, David 58 at the time so that was ok.

Why on earth did David not say what he felt prior to marriage I always spoke about having babies he never said the opposite, I felt cheated, lied to.  The months went on and on, I made an appointment with the Dr I had then, he had been the Dr for the family before I was born and I trusted him completely.  He told me that he would pass me over to the other Dr in the practise who dealt with fertility.  David and myself saw this Dr and he said he had a friend at The London Hospital in the relevant department and would write to him, we would then hear from this Dr in due course, for tests etc.  David did seem somewhat surprised.

We never got to see the Specialist at The London Hospital, because before the appointment came through I was gloriously pregnant with my first Son, I knew from the beginning it was a Boy don’t ask me how but I did.  I was so overjoyed at the prospect of holding that baby in my arms, it’s everything I wanted.  I was very fortunate never having Morning Sickness and apart from excruciating pain in my back that has remained with me to this day, I had a wonderful pregnancy I had never felt so well and enjoyed every single moment of being pregnant.  As for David well I was and am still not too sure how really happy he was.  I know that my not getting pregnant was because of him and what he did.  Now at least I could visit baby shops and every week I would buy something for the baby, my Mother put a deposit down on a “SilverCross” pram for me, the best prams in the world.

My Father, John Francis Morrissey, had died January the same year I became pregnant of the dreaded Cancer, thank God if one can say that, my Father’s illness was short.  Nevertheless, I could not face Daddy being ill not Cancer when there was no hope, Lung Cancer, those final days when he was home were the worst I had ever had to face.  I know it’s stupid but I had never expected Daddy to die he would be there forever.  My Father was a very quietly spoken, reserved (unlike my mother), non drinking Irishman born in Blarney Village just near the gates to the Castle, he was 71 years of age when he died, not long retired.  I had hoped that Daddy would hold his Grandchildren but that was not to be.

In the October of 1978 , ten months after Daddy died I discovered I was several weeks pregnant. On June 20, 1979 after a very quick Labour 1 hour 20 minutes (drinking castor oil helped but would not recommend it) my beautiful first Son Jonathan, David, Peter was born, Irish blue eyes and peach fuzz on his head it was so white he was without doubt the most beautiful baby, but then all Mothers say that.  David seemed pleased, proud that he was this older man (not too common in those days our age gap marriage) with a young Son.

We took Jonathan home very proud and so in love with our baby.  Jonathan slept in his cot by the side of our bed, my side and I barely slept listening to the baby breathing so quietly that I would wake him to make sure he was alright, stupid but true.

One night I was just dozing, early hours of the morning about 2am  maybe 3am when I thought there was a bird in the room I could hear it flying around but could not see it, I looked to the  baby he was fine, I shook David to tell him, he said it was probably a butterfly had got in and was trapped, but no it was like a swishing sound I looked to the cot again and for some reason the end of the cot there was my Father looking down at Jonathan smiling.  Just Daddy’s head and shoulders as clear as anything, I turned to David looked back and Daddy was gone, with this same swishing sound.

Now you could say I was asleep had imagined it, had wanted my Father so much to see his Grandchildren, but no I know what I heard and I know what I saw and it is as clear now as it was then.  There was the most wonderful feeling in that bedroom, Jonathan takes after his Grandfather in so many ways, but then people say looking at Jonathan is like looking at me, so therefore I take after my Father for which I am so grateful.

This is a true story just one of several things that I, or my youngest Son have witnessed.  All I know is I saw my Father looking down at his six week old Grandson he was there and gone, I saw him of that I have absolutely no doubt.













    1. It was not ghostly, my Father was so reserved so much so he never told me how much he loved me until the end perhaps this was his way too, but his face is as clear now as it was then, there is no doubting it.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s