“Memories On My Shoulder”

You lay there

Such few hours left

My mind racing

With all the events

Memories of the past rush by

This is so surreal

I cannot cry

 

Thinking of the day we met

The way you would ignore me

But call me when you wanted me

Memories of being alone

Longing for you to protect me

But you chose No

 

Here I sit by your side

Holding your hands

You look me in the eyes

No words spoken

Until I whisper “I love you”

“I know you do” you say

Still no “I love you” to me

 

Memories flash by

Young girl being teased by you

How I would cry

Memories of our Wedding Day

The weeks, the months, the years

That came along

All that we did tolerate

And for what

Years wasted we would say

 

You put me in this quanderry

I am stuck

As are your Sons

God the years of pain

I longed for your support

But no, you took others side

Betrayed me in  so many ways

Like a fool I stayed loyal

 

I sit here watching you

As you look into the eyes

Of your two Sons

I wonder how much you regret

Not loving them as you should

I doubled up as I still do

For all the love

They never had from you

 

I held your hands with one hand of mine

The other hand

I held on your Heart

And softly and gently

You Died

I could not cry

Your eldest Son fled the room in tears

Your youngest Son

Tough like you shed no tears

But he stayed by my side

A little Boy who never cried

 

Memories of that Day

Memories of my Life

Look forward I know I should have done

I should look ahead

And I do

But the past sits on my shoulder

Too close for me to ignore

 

 

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12 thoughts on ““Memories On My Shoulder”

    1. You are too kind, and an absolute Gentleman, thank you. Tomorrow has to be a better one, having been told by Dr today it would not be wise to go to SF the way I am, give it another year – so now I must look more forward try and make myself strong and look to SF and all I had in my Heart to do.

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    1. Do you know Linda I have been told that before by some people but I can never quite believe it. You have had quite an influence on me with all you have been through and your bravery and strength.

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    1. I cannot get over how sweet that was of you to ring me, it was such a wonderful shock. I plan now for next September or October, my Heart has to go to SF. I must make myself stronger, I know that Dr is doubting what I said to him he is trying to prove a point I feel. I am down today did not go shopping, in a few weeks time I would have been in SF but that’s over now and I must look forward to next year. Thank you so much for thinking of me I can’t tell you how much it meant to me Cheryl.

      Liked by 2 people

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