To return from all that I had seen, the horrors all laid out before my eyes, words to be found to write of these deaths of Men, young Boys barely out of their teenage years. To send them here to fight a War they cannot possibly win. To die for their Country, for Honour. Medals handed out posthumously to loved ones for them, to feel Proud and remember their Son, Husband, Father, Brother, Lover or Friend lives taken for what.
How can I return home, and put all this aside after my work published for all to read. “Take a break before the next assignment”, the bosses at the magazine tell me. Go back, to face more deaths, dying begging for their Mothers. Heads blown off, chests ripped apart, stomachs ripped open intestines hanging out, arms legs blown to kingdom come, and I am told “next assignment”, I know I have to go but how?
I return home to her, the woman I love above all, whose letters her words of love of strength kept me going. In my home she waits, as I climb the steps to the front door I know where she will be she told me. Let me throw my bags down here before I climb the stairs to her and open the door to our bedroom she is asleep I did not tell her the time I would arrive, but I am glad to find her like this.
How beautiful she looks, her dark hair stretched out across the pillows, her right hand resting under her head, the index finger on her left hand in that beautiful mouth, that mouth I have waited so long to kiss, to feel my tongue with hers. The sheets thrown off her, that body that exquisite body should never be covered it should be loved all the time. Her legs bent at the knees with her thighs opened, her silk negligee raised as though she has been sleepless, she wrote how she could not sleep well without me. Her firm breasts gently rising as she breathes, those firm nipples protruding, the strap on her left shoulder has slipped down exposing her left breast more.
I walk over to her lightly kissing her forehead and her lips, she sighs does not open her eyes, but turns in the bed onto her back her negligee has ridden further up her thighs, she lays there innocent to my return. How I longed for her every letter as I held it I could feel her, my hands running over her body, as she would look down at me and I would take her breasts one after the other hold them tight, lick those firm nipples that waited for my tongue, as she would move slowly up and down up and down and then tossing her head back, softly telling me “don’t stop please don’t stop” as though at the moment I could or wanted to, how much my body ached for her. She wrote she felt me every night taking her feeling me there holding her.
I sit on the bed as quietly and as gently as I can not wanting to wake this sleeping beauty of mine, mine all mine. As I look at her I cannot help the tears that well up in me, remember all I have seen more I shall endure, the horrors of what man does to man or Politicians do to to these Men and Boys I watched die. She lays here so innocent in her sleep, so beautiful, frightened to touch her she looks so fragile, yet I long to take her in my arms to feel that warm body next to mine, to take away all the blood and guts I cannot rid my memory of.
But, I am home, home to my Wife to our life to this beautiful woman that belongs to me, as I belong to her. I slip my right hand along the inside of her right thigh so soft like the finest silk, my fingers reached her she sighs as she always does with pleasure, as my fingers feel how warm so moist oh, how I need her right now. She stirs again but this time her right hand rests on my right hand as I feel how ready she is as she wakes those spell binding eyes of hers look at me as I lower myself to kiss her full on the mouth, she lowers the straps of her negligee takes my left hand so I am holding her left breast as my mouth leaves her I take her nipple in my mouth she sighs as she always does.
I am home, for the hours, days, weeks to come, I will forget the War, I am here with her making love , more and more, I’m home.