She had loved him for a long time now, could he even remember how long they had been married, surely he could, it was May 1953 when he asked her to Marry him and it was June one month later that he made her his Wife. There marriage at least the early years, as she looked back now, were the most passionate. They made love everywhere they could at any time they could, they could not keep their hands off each other.
But that was then, now she wondered what exactly did he feel, twenty two years later did he even love her, was it possible. She knew he had not cheated on her, she had him followed and there was no evidence. He was still a handsome man and women were still attracted to him, but Philip had remained loyal to her,
She laid there in bed waiting for him, gone 1am and he was still downstairs writing, did he work this late, she wondered because he wanted to, needed to or did it to avoid her avoid having her awake when he finally made the bedroom.
She heard him coming up the stairs, the small table lamp light was on the table, his side of the bed. Not once has a separate bedroom been mentioned. Perhaps if they had Children it might have been different, she asked herself, but it didn’t happen so no point talking about it let alone thinking about it she said to herself.
“Jenny” he said as he entered the room “you are still awake”. “Philip I was reading just got carried away, what time is it, you were working late again Darling” she asked of him. “Yes I needed to get some work done, I’ll just go and shower why don’t you try and sleep now” he said, “maybe” she said as she watched her husband undress, stood there naked in front of her, his body still good she still was still sexually attracted to him, then he entered the bathroom. It was not too long before Philip re entered the bedroom with a towel around his waist, water still dripping from his top half.
Jenny had raised herself up in the bed, he was still a handsome man , his body she still longed for, she may have got older they both had but it did not stop her wanting him wanting him to make love to her. “Darling” she said as she pulled back the bedding, there she laid naked, he looked at her her long slender legs, her firm hips and her full breasts, as he looked at her he knew what a beautiful woman she still was but did he want to make love to her, did he?
“Come to bed why don’t you” she asked, “I will shortly, don’t worry” he answered her as he bent down towards her and kissed her on the lips, she reached out to him putting her hands around his neck running her fingers through his hair, “Jenny you are going to get all wet” he said and half laughed as he removed her hands from his neck.
He walked over to the small chest by the French Doors with the long flimsy curtains that hung from them, he opened the doors the curtains blew aside in the breeze, he turned to his wife “are you cold I’ll shut the doors” he asked, “no I’m fine actually its a lovely breeze” she said. He stood there looking out to the distance and the mountains, he did not see Jenny leave the bed and walk to him, she was a woman that most men would reach out to, “what’s wrong with me” she thought.
Philip felt his wife’s arms slip around his waist, her lips on the back of his neck, he felt her breasts pressed up against his back and for a moment a feeling came over him, he wanted to reach round hold her backside feel how soft it was, turn her around and make love to her, but he dismissed it, why? Jenny moved around to the front of Philip placed her hands on his chest, running her fingers over his chest, Philip took her face in both his hands kissed his wife full on the mouth, as she slipped the towel away from her Husband’s waist, she felt his penis up against her, she reached her right hand down, gently running it up and down his Penis, feeling gently his tip, he moved back, she filled up to cry.
There was a rush of emotion in him as he felt her body pressed up against his, her breasts warm, he found himself suddenly holding her breasts taking her firm nipples between his fingers, his mouth taking nipple one after the other. Jenny took his hand placed it on her thighs, he found himself turning his hand between her legs, his fingers told him how ready she was for him she was warm waiting as he rubbed her she sighed.
His mind confused was this love making with his wife or was it just sex, as he looked at Jenny. Jenny had slipped down, her mouth on his body, her tongue running up and down his skin until she held him her tongue exciting him, he picked her up took her to the bed. As he looked down at her as she waited for him, she took his hand took his penis “I’m sorry” he said as he removed himself from her “I’m sorry Jenny, I can’t” as he walked to the open French doors.
Jenny got up from the bed, slipped on her negligee and went to the bathroom where Philip could hear his wife sobbing, he wanted to go to her to try and explain, but explain what, he did love her he really did. Philip just he didn’t want to admit what was wrong.
Jenny finally came from the bathroom climbed into bed, turned to Philip still at the French Doors “Philip if you don’t want me anymore I think we should Divorce, its obvious what you want” she said. Philip turned shocked, Divorce that was the last thing he had thought of “No I don’t want a divorce what made you think that” he asked of her. “Then why do reject me Philip, I just don’t understand”.
“I don’t know myself, there is no one else please believe that, I want you but I can’t I just can’t” he said, as Jenny left the bed went to him she hugged him he held her tight, his head on her shoulder as she stroked his head, she could feel his tears on her shoulder, “we will sort it out Darling” she told him, as Philip held her so closely.
He felt safe he felt loved he knew there could never be anyone else, but yes he needed help to understand what was wrong with him, as Jenny stroked his hair as his Mother used to do when he was small hurt, now here was his Wife comforting him, he knew he was safe that she would be there for him, as he held onto Jenny hugging her so tightly “darling you are squeezing me so tight, I’ll stop breathing, just hold me I’m here I’ll always be here for you” she told him. As philip let go a little of his wife and told her “I could never find another one like you”, and she laughed.
The very best of Sinatra “Wee Small Hours Of The Morning”, listen carefully you can hear his pain as he sings every word.