“DON’T GET UPSET”

Its always one problem after another in this house with what we call Life.  This morning I rose late 10.30, I had gone to bed just before 7am and having to take my liquid Morphine to ease the pain so that I could fall asleep.  I was annoyed waking late, this is what the Morphine does so I try not to take it at night.

I was surprised when I heard the voice saying “hello” at my bedroom door, it was my eldest Son, I looked at him and asked the age old question “are you alright”, surprised he had come home from work.  When Jonathan said “don’t get upset” thats the first thing I am going to do.  “What’s wrong, are you alright” I said.  “I didn’t want to worry you yesterday” said Jonathan “but I had some Chest pains, and I got them again at work”.  I looked at him just shocked and so worried, he said that he had gone to the local Hospital who told him he should not have gone to them but phoned an Ambulance.  Jonathan then went to the Doctors, had an ECG and the Dr told him he had to go to Colchester Hospital.

Jonathan came home to let his Brother and myself know, I said I would go to the Hospital with him but he said “no you stay there” and his Brother who had just gone to bed because he works throughout the night, wanted to go with him but again Jonathan said he would be fine.

We told him to ring us, email us, reverse phone charges.  Jonathan rang after some time there to say that they had done another ECG and four blood tests, now he has to wait for the results.  He is still getting the throbbing  pain, but thank God has no pain down his arms.  He still has the residue of a very bad chest infection he had for at least two months, I can’t help but feel this chest infection can be a problem.

The fact that on my late Father’s side there was a history of Heart Failure, which I was diagnosed with going on more than five years ago.  On my Mother’s side there was Heart problems, and on my Sons Father’s Mother’s side there was Heart probs too.   So we cannot take any chances.  Just as there is Diabetes on both sides.

I have been so worried for some time now about Jonathan, and pray every night that he will listen to me if nothing else, he is in his Thirties not for me to interfere but advise I will if I feel that he needs help.  My Sons are grown Men, and out of their own choice they live at Home, we are lucky to have a rather large house, so they have their own  privacy their own rooms etc and really the only time we are together is Dinner.

Jonathan, unfortunately, started to put on weight, I said nothing but worried more and more as regards what he was eating.  I cook healthy I have to, but my Sons do what they want as is their right.  That is not to say I don’t worry, I do.

I know Jonathan works extremely hard, and is always far too willing (I guess its in us) and he walks to work and home again, but like my late Father a Grandad he never had.  It is uncanny how he looks so like my Father he has his build too, so Jonathan began to put the weight on and on.  It does not suit him and I have bitten my tongue, until those occasions when he was not well in particular the chest infection and I advised him to lose weight.  I have been worried about his Diabetes too, I can’t make him  listen to me I can only advise for his health.

When Jonathan rang from the Hospital I was pleased to hear him say that he is going to lose weight, he knows he’s overweight, that pleased me.  But his main concern was for his job, as he had to leave one of the Women in Charge, his Boss had the day off, but Jonathan was so worried what she would say.  Jonathan was taken ill, Hospital, Doctors and finally Colchester Hospital, he cannot help if he is taken ill.

Right now, I am concerned for my Son, he is still my Child regardless of his age.  For me, old fashioned it may be, but once you are a Mother you are a Mother for life, not until they are 16 or 18, I am my Son’s Mother until I am no longer here.  I feel strange when of late this year I find my Sons helping me more, and that does seem so very odd to me.  I hope my Son will be able to come home tonight, I hope most of all they find no real problems.  I pray for my Sons every night and I pray now that God will look after Jonathan.

Monday, July 10th I’ll remember this date.

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21 thoughts on ““DON’T GET UPSET”

    1. Thank you Rob, I just had an email from Jonathan they have done a Chest X-Ray, another ECG and more blood tests, they told him depending on the results of those they may keep him in or he can come home. I am so pleased that he is going to lower his weight, that worries me. Thank you so much for your kind thoughts, I really am touched, thank you.

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    1. I will Matt, its so lovely to hear from you, I do so miss your site, I learned a lot. San Francisco, had to cancel Hotel, flight – problems with right leg, still going on, but my dream to go to SF is still going to happen with luck, thats when I can walk more than a few steps. How are you and your Daughter. Thought of you so often with trouble in Germany/France here etc. You take care and thanks for your thoughts, I am just so pleased to hear from you Matt. All the best, love Anna.

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  1. Anna – that must be extremely frightening. We went through a similar thing with one of ours. It turned out to be anxiety. Kids are always your kids for life no matter how old they are. We worry about them. I hope Jonathan is OK and maybe this will be a jolt to wake him up, get him to lose weight and keep fit. It might turn out to be a blessing.

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    1. Thank you Opher for replying so soon I really think a lot of that. Yes I think you are right it may well be a blessing. I only found out today from his Brother that at lunchtime he or his boss fetch Mcdonalds, thats no good for anyone every day is it Opher. I always cook healthy never use salt, and am always suggesting that they have more fruit, I am always buying vegetables and fruit. But, the Heart problems are in the Family, my Father’s Mother, Brother, Sister died of heart failure, my Father had heart trouble too, but he died of Cancer. Hopefully, Jonathan may be home tonight, I worry too Opher that he likes his Rum and Coke, I never say anything because he is old enough to know better, its been worrying me for some time his weight the pressure on his heart. The boys worry about me, I worry about them, oh dear such is life. I hope you and your Wife are well and all the Family. I just sent another email to Jonathan, so I hope I may here back, we always worry about them don’t we Opher. Many thanks again. Love, Anna.

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  2. you are all in my prayers Anna and it does sound like he’s your son … exactly like you 🙂 they give you help and advise you to get some sleep so now you need to set him an example …

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    1. Thank you dear Kate, yes Jonathan is like the double of me. (At times he never listens either, me!) The Hospital sent Jonathan home late that same night. He has to go back to have an Acute Heart Test and a stress Test. Jonathan’s Heart and Lungs (thank God) are clear as the 5 ECGs, two blood tests and Chest X-Ray suggested. I am so pleased that he has decided to do something re his weight, he’s not massive but has too much weight on for his build. Maybe this in a way was a Blessing, quite a shock mind you Kate. He was exhausted when he came home, said all he wanted all day was some scrambled eggs, so I did that for him, he showered and went to bed.
      As regards my sleeping I have found out that the Liquid Morphine the Dr has me on can severely affect one’s sleep. Also because I am prone to Anemia I am beginning to wonder if I am Vit B16 deficient. I have read that it causes muscle weakness/pain etc. Thank you Kate for your kindness.

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    1. Thank you so much leonard, very much appreciated. Thank God he came home the same night, the Hospital were very good to him, they couldn’t have done more he said. Jonathan has to go back for an Acute Heart Test and a Stress Test. I have Heart Failure Leonard and it was in my Father’s Family etc, so Jonathan needs to be aware of that. Many thanks again for your kindness.

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  3. Oh girl, you KNOW I feel your pain and fear. Jonathan and Bran seem to be two peas in a pod. And you are so right. We are always their mothers. Will be praying for you all, especially Jonathan. Give him my regards. Love ya.

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  4. Dear Cheryl, thank you so much, you have your own worries. It was quite a shock, Jonathan wouldn’t let us go with him to the Hospital. Apparently they were very good to him, Jonathan said they could not have done enough for him. He came home the same night exhausted, all he wanted he said all day was Scrambled eggs, so I did that for him, he showered and collapsed into bed. Thank God Cheryl, Jonathan’s Heart and Lungs are clear, as the 5 ECGs, two blood tests and Chest X-Rays. He has to go back for an Acute Heart Test and a stress Test. I am so pleased Jonathan is going to look at his weight, that has worried me, he is not massive but too big for his build. We will always worry over them won’t we Cheryl. How are you poppet, you are in my prayers too. Love to you all and thank you poppet for your kindness.

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    1. What is an acute heart test, Anna? I haven’t heard of that. I’m still struggling with this Myasthenia Gravis. Next week I have to decide if I want to have an infusion of hemaglobin (sp??) to see if it will help. Muscle strength varies from day to day. I fatigue easily. I’m to the point where I seldom go out except in the mornings as that seems to be when I’m the strongest. We may be cancelling our cruise altogether. Stress is a big trigger for this, and since our insurance won’t pay for anything outside the country, I’m half afraid I would set it off again and be in a world of hurt. Boy, you and I are a pair, aren’t we? 😦

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      1. You are so right, we are a pair. The Boys keep telling me “you can still go to San Francisco next year” but I’m worried Cheryl I want this leg business sorted, being able to walk better, I still have to go up the stairs on my hands and knees. I never go outside the House except to Doctors or Hospital, my Muscles have weakened so much. I do work one day I am exhausted the next. How did we get like this, I do blame the Dr he chose not to listen to me for two years, you know what it is like “a woman, and someone over 50/60” say no more. Did I tell you the Liquid Morphine disturbs sleep. Be careful about the Cruise and your money, last year I was lucky I got the money back from the Hotel, but the Flight was lost. Would you not be covered by Health Insurance, can you buy it just for the trip. I think you can still do that here. When you go out in the morning, you don’t go on your own do you. I have to go for Nerve Conduction Tests next Wednesday at Colchester Hospital, and because it takes so long and can be stressful etc they have said I need to bring someone with me. So Jonathan is taking a day’s Holiday to come to Colchester Hospital with me. The Acute Heart Test Cheryl, is Jonathan will be wired up on his Chest he goes on a special Treadmill and the Specialists push you to the extreme to see how far your heart can go, I suppose any damage etc. It takes a while and you are very dizzy after. I had it years ago, it is frightening because you feel your Heart will explode but they slow you down and stop it. He needs to have this, especially as there are Heart problems on my Family and David’s Family. I mentioned to Jonathan its about 6 years ago I was diagnosed with Heart Failure, he shocked me and said “Mother its Ten Years ago you were diagnosed and rushed to Hospital”, I couldn’t believe it, where do the years ago? Take care of yourself poppet, let me know how you get on. I can’t put little funny faces on here, like you have done, I don’t have the symbol, must ask the Boys. God Bless, Love Annaxxxx

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      2. Ok. I know which test you mean now. I understand they have a way of doing it with drugs where you can lay down and it simulates the same stress reaction on your heart. Does he know when he’s going to have it? And no, I don’t go out by myself at all. I don’t even go downstairs unless someone is here with me because I never know if I’ll be able to get back up. My muscles are just on again/off again. I have to decide by next week if I want to have this infusion thing to see if it will give my own steroids a boost. Right now my body isn’t making any. It’s such a mess…

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      3. You know Cheryl I am beginning to think there is something to this Vitamin B16 and the muscle weakness, are you prone to anemia like myself. Let me know if you go ahead with this Infusion. Do you have to go into Hospital or can they arrange it at home. I rang the Hairdressers this afternoon and made an appointment for next Tuesday, I’ll have to get a Taxi there and back. My hair has grown longer and I quite like it, so shall just have a trim, restyled and of course get rid of the grey. Next day I have Colchester Hospital and then Thursday I have to go to the Hospice to discuss pain therapy. All so exciting!!

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      4. I do have to go to the hospital (outpatient) for the infusion. I understand it will take two hours. I guess I’m going to have to have the diabetes doc check my B16 level. Haven’t heard about that. Would love to see your hair when you get it done!

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      5. Would you let me know about your B16 check. I have read quite a bit on it and not enough or no B16 in the body does immense damage. My Dr is really no good, he has left me until the last few months, he had been in the beginning “try this try that”, even when I had the very bad fall and asked for an X-Ray he said nothing, I should have had one Privately. Hope you get on ok keep me informed. If you want to be Frightened, I’ll risk letting one of the Boys take a picture and send it to you, there will be a WARNING on it!!

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