I had to go out this afternoon, which is something I rarely do except to the Hospital or Doctors. I was out for about three hours and when I got home I was not far from crying, maybe its me being not well, maybe I am just so tired, maybe its the time of year, my Husband’s Anniversary December 15, my youngest Son’s Birthday December 19 and my Wedding Anniversary December 27th. Or maybe it was what I had hoped for did not turn out that way. I had to get a taxi home as I can’t walk far or stand for long (its been hell this year), the taxi that arrived was one of those giant wagon type things, I struggled to climb up trying to balance myself on my walking stick, whilst the driver just sat there, when we arrived at my house he still sat there and wanted his tip, as I struggled to get out of this monstrous thing. I rang the doorbell to be greeted by a barking, screeching jumping up at me bark bark bark, my dog my lovely dog but at times like these because I never go out she goes mad when I do. My youngest Son was busy working, with me trying to tell him all, I know he does not listen half the time, when I started to cry then he noticed. When my eldest Son got home from London, he had to go to a meeting, when he said “doesn’t suit you” that was all I needed. I had cut my long hair, hair I was growing because I thought a change would cheer me up, well that didn’t work. My youngest Son said I looked like a public schoolboy? Then he told me he typed something for me he saw it when I was out and knew it would make me laugh, he was right I did laugh it really made me smile. I hope it will make you smile, no offence intended, its just a joke, a joke for Christmas. Enjoy!
8:00 I made a snowman.
8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.
8:15 I made a snow woman.
8:17 The child minder of the neighbours complained about the voluptuous chest on the snow woman.
8:20 The gay couple living across the street complained that it could have been two snowmen instead.
8:25 The neighbours on the left, who are vegans, complained about the orange nose, a carrot, this needs to be something else because food is for eating and not to decorate a snowman and woman with.
8:28 I am being called a racist by Jamal and his family because the snow couple are white.
8:31 The husband of Fatima demands the snow woman to wear a hijab.
8:40 The Police arrive to see what’s going on.
8.42 I am told that the broomstick of the snowman needs to be removed because this could be being used as an offensive weapon.
8:50 The local mosque issues a fatwa against the the snowman, ISIS threaten to send suicide snowmen to my street (No joke, see picture attached!)
8:52 My phone is being seized and thoroughly checked while I being blindfolded and flown to the Police station in a helicopter.
9:00 I am asked if I have any accomplices.
Done with this!! I will never make a snowman, snow woman or snow whatever again. It’s too dangerous!!
I wish everybody a merry Christmas and a happy New